I couldn't find a good employer Who'd let me be a life enjoyer So I quit my workin' at the company I was runnin' outta steam Chasing someone else's dream This nine-to-five is not the life for me. Refrain: Bring on the struggle, I'm ready For a job that's less than steady Trade eternal sunshine for some wind and rain And if I'm not successful Well, at least it won't be stressful I'm content with nothing lost and nothing gained I had no time to cook at home So I ordered meals by phone For this i paid a pretty penny and a dime. I was a hamster on a wheel Now tell me what's the grand appeal Of trading time for money when money can't buy time? REFRAIN And when the work was slow, I couldn't let the bosses know. So the bathroom was my secret getaway. Watchin' videos of kittens While pretendin' I was shittin' was typic'ly the highlight of my day. REFRAIN Eight hours every day, plus an hour commute each way But my mind's on where I'd rather be I'll only do it if once I get through it There's still something in it for me. Sure, I have goals, but I won't sell my soul My career is not what sets me free. REFRAIN Now I gotta keep it real I'm just a diva with ideals And I am privileged and reckless in my ways. But if you find that you are able Then I hope this little fable Shall remind you that your work can be your play.

Every year we celebrate Upon a late November date Abundance of a harvest great By giving thanks for many things. With family consume the vittles Eat the steak hot off the griddle Add some inches to our middles Feast for one night like a king. Conversatin' as we dine The topics are just asanine But that's okay because there's wine And dessert's comin' up, so we're feelin' fine... But pretty soon we'll come to hate The very foods that graced our plates Just days ago we gladly ate The echoes of a glorious meal: The dried up turkey leaves us parched, The gravy is a clump of starch, And pumpkin pie served à la carte Just doesn't have the same appeal. So, in the garbage goes the ham hock Hell if it was made by gran’ma Can we at least save the eggnog? (Wasting liquor is a sin!) Now, time to start the Christmas shoppin' Next year we'll have long forgotten Leftovers we let go rotten So we do it all again.

Please don't say goodbye to me, no not this way. Please don't use those sacred words, those precious three. Oh, I pray that I will never hear you say Goodbye to me by saying that you love me. I'll never say goodbye to you, oh no With those words that I reserve, those previous few "Seeya 'round" I'll tell you as you go But you'll never hear me tell you that I love you So profound a declaration, squandered on a salutation Darling, it's a sin, oh, it's a crime. Why do we say it as we part? We should've said it at the start. Let's promise to begin with it next time. And when I say goodbye to you, you can be sure That I'm mindful of the message that I send. If there ever comes a day for me to use those words, Then you'll know this time it truly is the end.

Well... I started eating Cheerios To help my high cholesterol Well, at least that's what I say when people ask But my real motivation Was my bad constipation Pooping had become a daunting task Now I'm one happy wiper 'Cause my crap is riper When I eat my fiber cereal When I get the right nutrition I make regular emissions That's why I love my whole grain oats When I put food in my mouth It took so long to travel south Seems like it was never in a rush My loads were small but now they're not I'm proud to say I got a lot I make so much I have to double-flush Now I'm one happy wiper 'Cause my crap is riper When I eat my fiber cereal When I get the right nutrition I make regular emissions That's why I love my whole grain oats I used to spend all of my dough On fancy toilet paper rolls Something I no longer have to do You can say I'm goin' green— A single wipe will get me clean On top of that I never clog the loo Now I'm one happy wiper 'Cause my crap is riper When I eat my fiber cereal When I get the right nutrition I make regular emissions That's why I love my whole grain oats That's why I love my whole grain oats That's why I love my whole grain oats

The Fightin' people think that I'm a coward Because I never push anyone around The gentle people call me troublemaker Because I'm not afraid to stand my ground. Funny I don't fit Tell me where have all the average people gone? Funny I don't fit Tell me where have all the average people gone? The wealthy people think that I'm a hobo Because I pay the bills by singing songs. The actual hobos say I'm rich and privileged. In many ways, I guess they aren't wrong. The restaurant workers often roll their eyes at me When I order soy instead of beef But vegans call me out for animal cruelty Because I like to eat my eggs and cheese. My family keeps tellin' me I'm whitewashed Because I rarely speak my mother tongue. And though I'm born and raised in California, People tell me to go back to where I'm from Funny I don't fit Tell me where have all the average people gone? Funny I don't fit Tell me where have all the average people gone? Funny I don't fit Tell me where have all the average people gone?

Let's agree to disagree, And by that I mean that we Should really disagree if we do. If we don't see eye to eye Then let's find the reason why. If I argue it's 'cause I care for you. But if you want to be "just friends" and our conversation carefree, Then let's agree to agree to agree to agree and our friendship never to mend. It's impolite to be polite. For example, if I sight Spinach on your pearly whites, you'd want to know. Likewise, if I offend, Please know it's not what I intend. It's on you whom I depend to tell me so. But if the confrontation hurts you, then just stay away from me, And we'll agree to agree to agree to agree, participate in this game of pretend. In attempt to be nice, There's a lot we sacrifice And we wind up living in fear. I say it's nobody's fault— Take it with a grain of salt. That's my opinion, not advice, to be clear. To agree to disagree, In all actuality, Means for us to simply be self-aware. Correct or incorrect, It helps to pause and to inspect. That way at least we can respect what we don't share. So if you want us to be friends and not just superficially, Then let's agree to agree to agree to DIS-agree and together, each other comprehend.

Listen, I’ll tell you a tale of the raven and the jacaranda tree. It’s a story of how love never fails even when it’s a love that cannot be. It begins with a wind from the north, so they say, and a raven wand’ring in the night. And the wind brought a storm that obscured the raven’s way so the raven had to alter his flight. Into the storm he went as he uttered his lament, “How can I fly if I cannot see?” So with a shadow of remorse, the raven modified his course and alighted on the jacaranda tree. The darkness has a way of turning every color gray and murky outlines all run ablur. And so morning brought surprise to the waking raven’s eyes as he found himself immersed in lavender. And the tree, who had also been aslumber, was awakened by something like a kiss. And ‘though many birds she’s met -- in her life, a countless number, none of them affected her like this. The jacaranda spoke, “There is something you must know -- it’s hard to describe just how I feel ... Your presence brings a resonance; it echoes in my soul. In other words, my heart you did steal.” And the bird, in return, said, “Oh, how do I begin? I think I, too, am in love with thee. It must have been by fate that I was brought here by the wind,” said the raven to the jacaranda tree. ... For many lovely days, the unexpected pair lived in bliss without wondering why. Many golden sunsets did they share and they slept together ‘neath the starlit sky. But all good things must end; every gift has its cost, and though love itself may have no bounds, when one loses track of time, it is lost, it is lost, and replacement is nowhere to be found. Alas, there came a day, when the raven pained to say, “I’m sorry but my time has arrived. But please, oh please, my dear jacaranda tree, for me, oh, for me please stay alive.” The jacaranda pleaded, “Please don’t go, please don’t go. The time is too soon for us to part! If there’s a way for you to stay -- if there’s a price, I will pay. Oh, dear raven, do not break my heart.” With his final breath he said, “All things die, but do not cry. I promise you that this is not the end. If you’ll only wait for me, we’ll once again together be, and your broken heart I one day shall mend.” Then from his perch he tumbled down, falling softly to the ground, and the tree, without limbs to carve a grave, all her lovely blossoms shed to cover up the dead and to mourn for the life she couldn’t save. ... When the heart aches, the days all seem so long, and every night is an endless abyss. To carry on, a heart must be strong, and take care if it dares to reminisce. The jacaranda waited many moons, many Junes. All alone on the earth she stayed, marking stars that may align, keeping watch for a sign, and always to her raven she prayed: “If I had eyes, tears would flow when other birds would come and go, as I resign to visit you in dreams. When you left, you didn’t say just how long you’d be away -- if you had plans, they remain a mystery. Oh, my love, will you come? Will you soon be reborn? Do you drift in the land of in-between? I’ll wait a lifetime for you, for to you I am sworn,” to the raven said the jacaranda tree. ... Listen, I’ll tell you a tale of the raven and the jacaranda tree. It’s a story of how love never fails even when it’s a love that cannot be. It begins with a wind from the north, so they say, and on a hill, a jacaranda tree. And the wind blew as it may, till on the ground the timber lay. Cried the jacaranda, “Now I am free!” Her soul began to sing as she grew a pair of wings, and a feathered body wrapped in satin black. Transformation now complete, she was prepared her love to meet and fly together without ever looking back. She could sense her love was near, but when she looked, no one was there. Oh where, oh where is he? And then realizing this, her world was soon set amiss: Did he return as a jacaranda tree?

My kitty don't love me Not even a little He only stays because I got the kibble Winnin' him really ain't an art, no My cat's got a belly for a heart. I buy him the good stuff 'Cause I know that organic's Better than the garbage that they put into Meow Mix But he don't really give a shart, no My cat's got a belly for a heart. Now don't you forget That playing hard to get Means that he don't love me yet. I feed him until he's had his fill And still he don't love me, And he never will. My kitty don't love me Not even a little He only stays because I got the kibble Winnin' him really ain't an art, no My cat's got a belly for a heart. My cat's got a belly My cat's got a belly My cat's got a belly for a heart.